I just turned 56. While there is nothing interesting about being a given age until it allows one to drive, vote, or drink (I am part Scot after all). In the last few months, there is an intense sadness that has come over me from time to time. It's not associated with an event, but rather like weather that just seems to blow through peroidically.

While I'd like to think that this is just a "thing" it lately seems to smell of something in the brain chemistry itself. While I'm under stress to a degree, given what I do I'm always under some stress. Sure I'm getting older, I don't think it is something like Parkinsons or the like. I'm not a drug user nor a heavy drinker either.

It's an interesting thought of thinking that I might not be in control of this thing, and worse yet that at times it is in control of me. I'm not a worrier so I don't often let myself play in that "what if" space, but I do ponder my own sanity.